I am wondering if anyone has any advice about dealing with a difficult parent? I always stay calm, listen to what they have to say, and do what I can to help, and or alleviate the situation, but what if it seems like nothing is good enough? Any advice or experiences would be appreciated.
Thanks
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I have had experiences with difficult parents. I understand that these parents care so much about their child to the point that they are close-minded to teacher's point of view. Last year, I had a parent email me every week to check on any missing work or any concerns I had with her son. I appreciated her involvement to know her son's performance in my class, however, there was this one time when I wasn't able to respond to her email in a day or two (knowing the fact that we, SPEd teachers, are busy with IEP meetings and such). The parent got so mad and demanded to have a conference with me. On my defense, my SCORE website was up and running so I frankly told the parent that sometimes the students have to be responsible enough to know the whereabouts in class. This year, I sent out email to parents informing them about PASS (eg. the day a update the grades, SCORE (class notes,announcement and etc.) and my syllabus so I can have clear communication and mutual understanding the parents.
-M.Villanueva
It's hard for parents to remember that we have to address the needs of many students when they see only the needs of their own child. It's not because they are selfish, it's just that it's all they know. Often a parent just wants someone to listen to them. Last year I had a parent who didn't like the administrator who had given her son detention. I listened to her complaints without voicing any judgment. I kept in e-mail contact with her weekly and listened to her complaints. By the time we got to a manifestation meeting, she appeared grateful for all the attempts made to help her son and was even polite to the AP she had previously called a b...
Still, you can't please all parents. Have you asked your department chair? Sometimes getting a specialist involved helps, even if it's the school counselor, the parent knows more than just one person is involved in helping the student.
Gae Noble
Sorry, that anonymous post was mine.
Melinda, It sounds like you have a good plan already. I just make sure I document each and every time I talk with the parents in my log book. I also print out copies of emails and keep them in my caseload binder. Sometimes it is hard to remember to stop and make a record of the phone call, but I've learned it is important to do so. Sometimes when I am going to call a parent back, and I know it could be a difficult call, I will ask another teacher to be in the room with me - just so she can witness what I said to the parent. (I let the parent know that the other party is in the room).
Marie Mackrell
Melinda Griffith
Thank you for the imput. Yeah I do make sure that I have someone else in the room. The parent is excitable and I am not the only person who has spoken to them, and who has had a lot of difficulty with them. I always make sure to document when I call and what was said (its a best practice to CYA.) It's just nerve wracking.
Thanks!
I too have had some difficult parents in the past. With two in particular, I always ask our spec ed coordinator to attend. What has worked for me in the past is to kill them with kindness. As hard as it is sometimes, it really works. by the end of last year, I had a parent who is one of the loudest voices in the county, upset that I would not be her child's teacher this year. Each month, I make at least one phone call to a parent to inform them on the progress of thier child. I try to keep the phone call short (about 5 minutes) and try to vocus on their progress. I found that many of my parents appriciate this call becuase they are used to only hearing negative comments about their child.
D. Knight
I had a parent last year that was relentless. His son would constantly sleep in class and his grades reflected it. Dad wanted his grades to remain high so he could continue to play football. I was the student's case manager and dad would call multiple times a day- my phone would be ringing during class time, I would have numerous emails, and if I didn't get back to him quickly enough, he was calling guidance and the principal. He was nuts. My principal suggested that we turn the tables and have every last teacher of the boy email dad after every class and update him on his son's performance (or lack of). We bombarded him, and he backed off some. He really just wanted to yell and vent at the faculty because he was frustrated with his son. I hope Pass/Score will alleviate some of this since parents can now keep up with student's school performance.
~Terri Clements
Can anyone tell me what the difference of a "case manager" and a teacher are? Or are they the same thing?
I really like how some of you said you killed the parents with kindness or bombarded them with emails...too funny! It seems to have worked though to settle them and letting them know that you are providing thier son/daughter with the best education possible.
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